Well I'm sitting at the rescue squad waiting for tones to go off (hope they don't I don't want anyone to be sick today) and playing around on the computer. I really need to get back to some needle work or some miniatures or something so I can have something to show for the time I've spent. I didn't realize just how badly I've felt the past few months because of the fibromyalgia till yesterday. I do miniatures for a company in NY and I haven't really done a thing since March. Mostly I've been reading the puter or watching TV or reading books or doing sudoku puzzles or something equally dead and boring because I just didn't feel good. But now I'm getting my passions back. I'm working on a cross stitch tiger (two of them actually) that I started in 2000. When someone asks me how long it has taken me to get to where I am I give them a look and ask if they want the approximate hours spent or the time since I started. Definately not the same. Those poor tigers were left sitting in my pocketbook for years wanting attention and not getting it. I'm also getting fired up about the miniature work again too. So I'll work on the miniatures for a while and on breaks stitch up a few stitches. Hope the good feeling last till at least the middle of January.

I think I need to find another couch to sit on when I'm on duty. Today I ache all over. My legs hurt so bad I am crying because of the pain. I got in the shower and turned the water on hot and used the massage head to try to make the pain in the legs go away. Some of it did but not all and now I'm hurting again as bad as I was before. I can barely get out of bed. Little One fixed me a peanut butter sandwich (his idea) and brought it to me earlier. Of course I had to eat it or hurt his feelings. The Oldest is going to bring me a pizza in a little while.

OK was up till 3am chatting on the computer with the Fibrohugs crowd, had a call at 7am and then ran 3 more calls before 12:30pm. And I'm not wiped out. I'm a little tired but I'm not falling asleep at the keyboard. It was sunny today so maybe that had something to do with me feeling good. Not all days are bad and I really need to keep a record of how I feel from day to day. I need to know if always feeling bad is just my imagination or if it's real.

OK Friday was rainy here and I have hurt all day. Had to take a nap and now I'm wide awake. But most nights I don't sleep real good so that's not unusual. I'm trying to see what makes me feel better and what makes things worse. I need to write it all down in a journal and this seems the best way to do it. I'm not really that complainy in person simply because I don't want to put people off but this is my journal and if it helps someone else to know they are not alone with the fibro thing crap then so be it. Right now my legs are hurting and I'm thinking of taking a pain med to get me through the night. Spent some time on the fibrohugs website and was chatting with others like me. It is strange to compare notes and we are all pretty much saying the same things. Little One is at Mom's for the night and all day tomorrow since I'm at the rescue squad for my 24 hrs per month duty. So far we've only had one call and it was a refusal. At least I didn't have to try and lift a stretcher tonight. When the dog lunged at the goat and sprained up my left side a few weeks ago the dr told me she saw some osteoarthritis on the x-rays so I guess that's why my wrist hurts so much. Well time to get some sleep. 7pm Sat is a long way off.

So much for me posting everyday. That really worked out great. Just in case you want to know where I've been since Sunday well here goes.

Monday: Was feeling OK, not great but OK. Got home with Little One, who had finished all his homework before I got home, and he decides to try to ride the goat like a bull. Apparently on the way to my parents house with my dad they saw a trailer with a cow and calf and dad asked him if he wanted to ride the cows. Like that country song says WHAT WAS HE THINKING by saying that. Anyway, I told Little One to get off the goat cause he could hurt her real bad and he started to get off. I went on in the house to start supper cause he wasn't riding the goat like a bull. WHAT WAS I THINKING. I didn't even get into the kitchen good when he came in holding his eye. He didn't get off when I thought he did. And they fell and her horn jabbed him just below the . So it was off to pick up mom so I could have some help and then a trip to the ER. He's ok and he only has a little place on the white of his eye that was red and now it's going away. By the time I got home I sure didn't want to do anything on the computer. I did good to watch TV. I fell asleep thinking tomorrow will be a better day.

Tuesday: Was hurting a little more than on Monday but could still move. Got home and fixed supper. Ate and then watched some documentaries about 9/11. Little One was fascinated about some of the things he saw on the shows. Still didn't feel like turning the computer on so I didn't. I was starting to hurt in my legs and Little One decided to rub them so they would feel better.

Wednesday: Woke up still hurting in my legs. Forced myself to get up and go to work, after dropping him off at school. The work day was so long (or so it seemed) and I was feeling worse when I got off. Supper was leftovers from the day before. Legs started cramping so I took a dose of No Salt (works great for charley horses and restless legs syndrome) and a hot shower. Felt a little better and was able to get a little sleep.

Today: At least I got enough sleep that I didn't have the fibrofog too bad. Also Thursdays are my slow day and I don't have to really think about things much. Still hurting and can hardly walk. Tomorrow starts my usual three day weekend and after taking Little One to school I can come back home and get some sleep. I have rescue duty this weekend and hope I don't get back to back calls. If I only have 1 or 2 spaced apart then I can fake it. I should probably quit but I love helping so much. If I absolutely can't handle it then I'll call off. Hopefully I won't have to. Enough sleep tomorrow before and getting to bed early tomorrow night should make it ok.

OK, I'm going to try and post everyday about how I am feeling, what the weather was, how work went, what I ate and drank so that maybe (1) I can tell if there is anything I need to do differently in order to feel better and (2) help anyone else who has this hateful disease with understanding or dealing with it.

Today is Sunday September 9, 2007. Little One spent the night at grandparents and I had last night to myself. Got a good bit of sleep and then went to the grocery store before I picked him up. Came home and made chicken salad and soup, both homemade. Pain hasn't been too bad, about a 2 or 3 on a scale of 10. Had to take a couple of breaks while cooking but it wasn't too bad. The weather was sunny and warm. It wasn't too hot and apparently there were no storms lurking around so I didn't have external factors causing pain. I did get a little short tempered about 8pm but that's not too bad. Usually I have my first meltdown about 4 or 5 pm. I even cleaned the microwave and washed the dishes too. Now it's time for bed and I hope to have a good day tomorrow since I have to go to work.

Tabitha and Sparkle are sisters. They love to play together and run and jump all over the house. Last night Sparkle was the only one to be seen. I thought it was odd and then realized Little One had left the front door open a little bit and perhaps Tabitha had gone outside, which is a dangerous thing to do since I have a dog that likes to kill cats. This morning I opened the front door and called Tabitha to no avail. I was beginning to think that she was expired in the yard somewhere. While Little One and I were in the laundry room (at the back door which is blocked by all the stuff in there) we could hear a kitten crying. I went outside to the back door and there sat my Tabitha on the steps looking so scared and panic stricken. She wasn't even sure she trusted me. I scooped her up and took her back inside and after a few minutes with Sparkle they were climbing the blinds on the windows (they've already pulled the curtains down) and running and jumping all through the house. She is even interested in what I'm doing. m,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxj The last word? is from Tabitha. She has made her internet debut.

My youngest daughter called me tonight and told me about a new fibromyalgia study. I don't know where she heard about it but the website is fmsstudy.net. I called the number on the website and found out there is a study doctor about an hour away from where I live. I passed the first round of qualifications and am waiting for the doctor's office to call to see if I move into the next phase of qualification for the study. Apparently there is a new drug that is being tested for the treatment of fibromyalgia. I hope I make the study and the drug works. It would be so nice if my baby can have the same mom his sisters had. I started crying when I was talking to my oldest daughter about the study. I was remembering something I did with them and I can't do with him. I'll keep everyone posted on the study.

Well, spent about an hour taking pics of my crochet items. Probably could have finished sooner but I had some 6 year old help and there are several pics of parts of my body that are upper torso only because I could recognize the shirt I'm wearing. These pics are real close up pics and you can see detail on the pattern on the shirt. Then it was crop. Now I've got to come up with descriptions and such then list on etsy. Then we'll see. More later.

Today has been a day to laze around and do basically nothing. I was up till after 4am so maybe that has something to do with it. I'm almost ready to start listing items on etsy. I'm organizing some of my crochet items and getting them bagged and labeled. I had been taking them to craft shows, but lately the shows have fallen off and are not really worth setting up and selling at, at least in the area I live in.

I am planning to work on some miniatures after I get the crochet items listed. I have some ideas and am starting to work on the plans in the next couple of weeks. My Dad makes furniture and other things for the home. I'm going to cut down his plans for the miniatures, so most of the furniture you see as a miniature can be made full size as well.

Well, time to start getting things ready for tomorrow. Much easier to get up and get the little one off to school and me off to work if I have everything ready to grab and go.

Well we all finally met at the McDonalds at the high school so the kids could play for a few minutes before going to the movie. Then we went to see Open Season. Great movie for the kids to watch. Really funny, especially the Goldie Locks themed part. I thought that was kinda funny. All the kids in the theater were laughing during the whole thing. I didn't really mind cause when you go see a cartoon you gotta expect the kids to laugh, and talk, and ask questions. After the movie we went to KB Toys to look around and the kids enjoyed that also. I had to go back to the car early cause the fibro was acting up. When everyone else got there they were talking about a fight inside the mall. I asked J and TT about it and the fight was a sword fight with foam swords inside KB Toys. Darn it missed it. Would have loved to see it. More later.

Well, I got my etsy account set up, finally. Xiane pointed me to that site and I thank her for it. I'll be listing there in the next week with some crocheted items that I have. I am also starting to make miniatures for dollhouses. My dad makes furniture so I'm copying his patterns for the little furniture I'm making. I can get away it because I'm also an officer of the corp he is operating under. I have mostly thread crochet but I have worked with the larger yarns and made afghans. I'll also have some of the doilies in miniature if I can get the gauge right. OK, I've runn out of words so I'll shut up for now but will post more later.